Pipe grew up on the streets of Dublin. When he was in his fifth year he had a visit from Jesus. Jesus spoke unto him, "Pipe, get yourself out of that gutter, and get a wee job." Pipe turned his life around at this point by investing in 100% Risk Free business opportunities.

By the age of 10, Pipe was a millionaire. He never attended school, being born with a larger brain than most.

During his 22nd year, Pipe was accosted while in his sleep. He awoke to find several gunmen looming over him. Pipe, the quick thinking bugger he is, reached under his pillow for his trusty fountain pen. The pen found many targets, killing a man, and wounding others. Who says the pen isn't mightier than the sword? You.

After this, Pipe fled immediately, making use of the underground contacts he had made during his childhood.

The next day, several well know publications ran the story about Pipe's death- Apparently the dead assassin's corpse was made to look like his own! Now everybody thought Pipe was no more, even his dear wife. To dull his rage, Pipe turned to drink. Sometime during that encounter he was again visited by Jesus. The Lord told him to found a church and do right unto others as much as possible. Pipe emerged from his hiding place the next day, and founded Pipe Corp Church. The rest, I'm sure they say, is history.

Dunce.

I HAVE FUCKING NEEDS!